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here we are. the last person in my story, the last person for now that ever broke my heart. my current best friend.

i've talked about you a lot. the only two boys that ive ever loved were madly in love with you and i now its not your fault, it just keeps me wondering what you have that i dont.

after a long time, you finally became the person i could talk to. i didnt trust anyone, because every person that ive ever trusted has broken me every time, but you didnt. at least for a long time.

so when all the drama with my ex boyfriend stopped, his best friend came to the scene. he, as every boy on this planet, was madly in love with you and you were with him too. so naturally, you wanted me to know him better and you invited me to go out with you two.

and i went, because it was important for you.

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little did i know this would be a big mistake before i went. but even if id knew, id propably go anyways.

this boy simply didnt like me. at first it looked like he was fine, but my ex boyfriend told him things he shouldnt about me and now he had this image of a person that simply didnt even exist.

to be real, no one has ever told me the truth about my ex boyfirend face to face. i knew the truth, i broke up with him because of it, but no one ever told it to me and he was the first person to do so. and it broke my heart again.

and he strated doing things that hurt me and you did nothing.

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didnt you see the tears in my eyes when he started to yell at me? when he started making fun of me, saying that i am too ugly even for a play date and he doesnt understand that his friend could date me for this long. didnt you see the tears in my eyes when i ran home?

was he more important to you than i was? thats why you didnt come after me? thats why you let me go?

thats why you let go of a person that was there all the time, who went to your house when you was in a bathroom with a razor in your hand, even when they didnt have time for no one? thats why you changed?

we didnt talk for a week. than you told me that you needed me and i went to your house again. because thats just the kind of person i am.

but after that, you only talk to me when your boyfriends not in town.

it hurts.

and i keep on trying
but i am never the one.

not for boys,
not for exes,
not for my best friends even.

always the second choice.