Hey, everyone! Ready to relate?

There you are, in your bed, thinking about that one person again... They might be an old friend, or a failed love interest, but, no matter what, you feel pretty horrible. Your head is a total mess, and if your feelings were visibe they would look like a Jaison Cianelli abstract painting. And you can't help but think to yourself: How do I get rid of these stupid feels?
Well, I might not be very good with love, but I've become pretty good at getting over people!
So, this is my way of doing it! Hopefully these steps I personally take are going to help you get back on your feet emotionally, too.

abstract, contemporary, and modern image
This is your current emotional state, if not about a hundread shades darker... (Also this isn't an actual Cianelli painting, but you get the gist!)

Step 1: Grief
Key feeling: Sadness
This is the first step to get over somebody. Sadness itself is inevitable, but it makes a difference if you choose to bottle it up, or grieve for whom you have lost. When I'm heartbroken, I cry, and just sit in the dark, feeling sorry for myself; but, in the end of the day, it's totally okay to be sad, sometimes! I also always write a bunch of depressing lyrics, or poems, to get it all out... It actually helps! Grief for me lasts for about two or three days, but it depends on the person. Although, I must suggest you don't let your grief go on for long! You don't have to feel okay after grieving, anyway. Lifting your mood comes with the next step.

anime bed

Step 2: Recovery
Key feeling: Calmness
This is the time I get off bed, and actually try to make myself feel better. I treat myself with something tasty, and start doing things I enjoy; that usually means reading a book, going out, watching my favourite shows, and, maybe a Disney movie... I have realised that, personally, when inflection comes along, happiness is two, to three Disney movies away! Sad songs should be avoided to be listened to if this step is to be accomplished, since that is only going to remind you of your sorrows, and push you back to square one. No need for that! The pupose of this step is to get your mind off the unpleasant event.

book asus

Step 3: Blame
Key feeling: Anger
This is my personal favourite phaze! The day always comes when I'm just tired of being sad over dumb people, and realise that it's not only my fault the situation is the way it is. No; it's their fault too. It's their fault for being selfish, and ignorant, and for having shitty personalities! List those negative traits of those out loud, get mad over them! Scream in your pillow and punch it, listen to some hardcore music and dance, push a wall, go out for a run! The more exhausted you feel after this step, the better!

boxing fit

Step 4: Oblivion
Key feeling: Determination
Unless you suffer from some condition, you can't literally forget about the person! During this step, I get rid of everything that reminds me of them, like phone-call history and texts, and put away all of their gifts. The objective of this step is to create a good base to gradually starting to forget the person, and to not make yourself sad by accident, by bumping into old texts or pictures at random times! This may seem like a huge and hurtful step, but, I guarantee, that although it’s going to feel pretty bad at first, you are going to forget about all those reminders sooner than you would ever expect! Besides, those people certainly take up enough valuable space in your mind, why have them take valuable space in your phone too?

aesthetic Superthumb

Step 5: Forgiveness
Key feeling: Empathy
Although during a couple of phazes ago I attempt to blame the other ones for everything, during Step 5 I try to put myself in their shoes and justify their actions. Why have they done the things they've done? To answer such questions I put on the table all the things I know about the person, and try to figure out their background story which would have led to their thinking and acting the way they did. It's a fun part, since you get to test your observation skills and play the psychologist-detective. This is also a good part to think about the way you must have been viewed by the other person, and recognise your mistakes. And when all those happen, and everything starts to finally make sense, it's time to forgive them, and forgive yourself too; it's time to move on.

Superthumb beauty

Conclusion and sidenote: You shouldn't push yourself to accomplish each step in a ceartain timeline. You ought to go on with each step as soon as you feel ready to do so! This procedure may last one week to three months(!), depending on the person. Thus, take your time and don't you worry no matter how long it takes you. Things always get better, eventually!

*This is it, for now! Thank you for reading!
*Good luck during the emotional joy-ride, everyone!
*How did you find my way of dealing with bad feels? Feel free to message me about it!