Love is a crazy and special part of this world. But it also comes with heartbreak, tears, etc. I recently watched the movie Perks of Being a Wallflower and the quote that stuck with me was "We accept the love we think we deserve". For me, there is this special person that I always choose over and over again. He is the best but the worst thing that has happened to me. He treated me so well in the beginning and then I realized I was just being used. I forgave him and it happened again. Then I forgave him again. He always says "I am gonna change, I am sorry, please forgive me, Don't leave me" And in the back of my head I am like he is not gonna change it is gonna be the same thing over again. But at the same time, I don't want to lose him either. It is crazy because deep down I know he treats me bad and it hurts me but I just don't know why. This quote hits me because I feel like I do not deserve someone better. I feel like since I have him that is the best I can do but I started realizing things. That I am better and that he doesn't deserve me and that I deserve better. I treated him so well and he does not. Like the song figures by Jessie Reyez.
I gave you ride or die and you gave me games
Love figures
I know I'm crying 'cause you just won't change
Love figures
I gave it all and you gave me shit
Love figures
I wish I could do exactly what you did
I wish I could hurt you back
Every time I hear this song it kills me because this is how we were but I need to start changing and I know that this has to stop. I know some of you are like this too and I want to tell you that you deserve someone better. Someone who cares and treats you like a queen and doesn't just use or abuse you.