Sometimes we all feel a little bit lost and sometimes that is okay, but sometimes we can get so lost that we can not find our way back. Lately, I feel really lost. I don't know who I am, who I want to be, what I want to accomplish in my life or even what I like.

Last three years my life has been perfect. I had a great boyfriend who loved me and who I loved the most. I had my friends and family and I was great in school. Then I started college 300 kilometers away from the town I live in. I was alone in the big city which wasn't a problem because I meet new friends. The problem was that I never used to see my parents, friends, and boyfriend. In the meantime, I met this boy who went to college with me and instantly fell in love with him. We became best friends and I made myself forget about him because I had a boyfriend. The year passed and I couldn't hide feelings about that boy. I broke up with my boyfriend which was the biggest and hardest decision in my life and told my friend everything I feel for him. Of course, he does not feel same for me, actually, he hates girls like me. Girls who drink, smoke, who are rebels, loud and need to be always right.

Now I'm lost. I am trying to be something I am not to impress someone who doesn't like me and to be a girl my mother always wanted me to be. I feel like I am disappointment and I don't know what I want from my life now, or who I want to be. A good girl like everyone wants me to be or a bad girl who looks like a boy and feel comfortable with it.

I know you probably don't care about this story of mine but I wanted to tell this to someone and I can't so it feels better if I write it somewhere.