I kind of crave loneliness.
- Sam Heughan

I have a confession to make.
i have this constant need of being alone, i love it and hate it at the same time.
it's scary place and i don't know how i got here. So isolated from the world, no friends, no ambition, no will, no social life.. my mind's a mess and i'm losing this battle. the battle i never signed up for. i'm lost and tired but i have no energy or will to change. i live in fear, constant fear and when i'm without it, it feels like something’s missing, i'm afraid that it has become my life. fear, emptiness, sadness, pain, loneliness, second guessing, talking myself down, mixed emotions..just a couple of things that shape my reality.

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i found peace in silence, isolating myself from outer world and now i'm the way i am. almost 17 and i feel like shit, like i'm running out of time..
Shaky hands, empty eyes.

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i remember growing up people would ask me all the time why are my hands shaking, and i wouldn't know what to say. they just were, as long as i can remember, it's worse when i have to present something or if i'm talking to someone for the first time or when i'm excited, scared or anxious..

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I was always told i have the most beautiful eyes they've ever seen. but to me they were ordinary, green eyes and long eyelashes, nothing special. once upon a time they were shining so bright, always looking up to the sky, hopeful.. they lost that spark now, if you look closely you can see where my demons hide.

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i became addicted to loneliness. i want it to stop but i'm glued to it, it has become a part of me, there is no me without it.
the saddest part is that i don't know if i will make it through. maybe i will lay my soul forever, maybe tomorrow it all will be over.

lonely image death, depression, and life image silence, james, and quotes image sad, skins, and Effy image