i don't hate anyone. i certainly don't hate you. sometimes i wish i did. it'd be so much easier than reliving every conversation we've had in my mind. it'd be so much easier than wondering if you try not to think of me too. it'd be so much easier than liking you.

sometimes i feel like such an idiot. i ask myself why i even like you. the sad part is that i can think of reasons. you don't know how desperately i wish i would come up empty-handed.

i know one day i'll look back at the memories of liking you and laugh. i'll laugh at how pathetic this seems. how young and delusional i am. i wish there was a way to just skip through this crushing phase because that's all it inevitably leaves a person feeling- crushed.

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