These people, they changed my life.
They are people I've never met before in my life.
They are people who don't even know about my existence.

Yet, they play a huge role in my life.

BTS, a Kpop boyband. I know what you're gonna say, "typical fangirl". Cliche. Sure I am. I collect their albums, have their posters and photocards pasted all over my room, listen to their songs everyday and probably go crazy watching their videos. Typical.

But inside, there's more to just an 'idol-and-fan' thing.

I was a fan since their early days. When I first came across their video on No More Dream, I was amazed by how good their choreography was, like they were really great dancers. But I was just a normal fan. I started to know them better during Skool Luv Affair era. (Boy In Luv got me hooked on them) But at that point in time, it was really nothing much of a huge deal, I just loved them a lot, like a typical fangirl. I started printing photos of them and have them pasted on my wall.

That year, it was probably the darkest moment in my life. I went through a lot. I was struggling so much I could barely breathe. I was both physically and mentally exhausted. I decided to do something horrible. Something really horrible.

I was about to do it, I wanted to end it all. I was really tired. I didn't see the point in fighting on anymore. I had no will to live. I wanted to rest, forever. I took a glance around my room, there, I saw the photos I pasted all over my room. They look amazing...

Isn't it a waste? It hit me hard. What are the chances of being on the same planet, of existing in the same timeline? I'm not gonna leave just like this

My mind was in utter chaos. I didn't know what to do. I was numb. I cried for hours that night. I had no one. The loneliness and confusion were killing me. But at least, I was alive and breathing.

Ever since then, I have photos of them wherever I go, my wallet, bag, phone etc. I'm constantly reminded of why I should live on. I became a huge, huge fan. I listen to their music every day without fail. They gave me a purpose in life. Their life stories are really inspiring. Each and every one of them, coming from different backgrounds, came together to form an amazing band. With their different talents and personalities, they came together as a group and share the same goal and dreams. Let's not forget how much they love their fans too.

I really want to see them in real life one day. It could be five, ten or fifteen years from now. I want to meet them in person and thank them.

Thank you for existing.

Let's move on from this whole sentimental thing.
In case some of you are wondering...

My bias is V, I love him so much.

here's a collection of this gorgeous human being

My favourite songs (upbeat)

  • Mic Drop (any version)
  • GOGO
  • Fire
  • Not Today
  • 21st Century Girl

My favourite songs (soft)

  • Spring Day (their music video screams aesthetic, if that makes sense)
  • Hold Me Tight
  • Butterfly
  • Reflection (Rap Monster)
  • Move

These are my personal favourites, check them out if you're interested. That's all for now!

09.02.18