The Fourth Day

I wake up before Ben this time. Memories of last night flip through my mind. I want him but I'm so scared of what will happen. I'm not sure I'm ready for a relationship yet. I don't want to move to fast and get hurt again.
I get up quietly and tiptoe to the bathroom so not to disturb him. He looks gorgeous sleeping there in the morning light.
I have a shower and stand there in a towel looking in the mirror, I see a small pale-skinned girl with thick brown curly hair that tumbles down her shoulders and over her breasts. Bright blue eyes and very light freckles across the nose and cheeks. This girl is me but it doesn't feel like me. I've never thought I was pretty because I never even thought about my looks like the other girls do about themselves. I just thought well this is me this is what I'm meant to look like. Whether I'm ugly or pretty isn't up to me but the opinions of other people.

girl, hair, and eyes image

Suddenly the door opens and Ben stands in his jocks. Hair all over the place, and a tired look on his face. I can't help but notice the bulge in his jocks.
"Shit, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were in here."
"It's okay," I whisper. I walk over to him and I press my hands to his bare chest, rest my head there too and close my eyes. I want him so bad I almost want to break my own rules for him.
I look up at him and kiss him softly on the lips. He kisses me back with a little more pressure. We kiss back and forth until he walks me backwards to the bathroom cupboard and lifts me up onto it. I hold onto my towel for dear life, I'm not ready for him to see me yet.
Ben moves between my legs a little and my stomach does little flips seeing him standing there in his jocks. Our kisses become fast and messy. His hands are pressed against my bum and mine on his hips. He moves in closer and starts to kiss down my neck. I take the opportunity to catch my breath.
Ben stops and frowns at me.
"What?" I ask.
"I thought you wanted to take it slow?" He questions.
"I do," I whisper. "Though I'm not sure I do."
He raises his eyebrows.
"I mean. I want to take it slow but at the same time, I feel ready to go there."
He raises his eyebrows again.
"I guess being with my ex I hadn't done anything like this. He wanted it with greed and lust you want it with kindness and what feels like love."
"So you didn't want to go there with him because he made you feel pressured and not very special whereas-"
"You don't pressure me and you make me feel very special," I say shyly.
"I'm glad." He drops a kiss on my forehead. "Did you want to continue?"
I nod.
His bulge has grown over the last couple of minutes. I get an urge in the pit of my stomach.
His hand falls on my thigh making me flinch.
"It's okay hun. I won't hurt you." He says looking me in the eyes. "Do you want me to stop?" He asks.
I shake head.
Ben starts kissing me again. His hand moves in beneath the towel which is now ridden up a little more though not exposing anything. He starts kissing my neck at the same time I feel him touch me. He's gentle. I can't help pressing myself and the rest of my body against him. The pressure in my stomach keeps building. His touch is so soft, gentle and addicting. The pressure in my stomach is released. He stops. We stay how we are for a second before he pulls me out of his chest. Ben looks down at me. I can't look him in the eye. I can feel myself going beetroot.
"You're beautiful."
I find the courage to look up at his face. "Thank you," I whisper.
We're quiet for a few moments just staring at each other.

I jump off the bench and stand against him, he holds me gently. Without really thinking about it I take his hand and led him back to the bedroom. Ben shuts the door behind us.
"You sure about this?"
"Yes," I say nodding.
Ben bends down and kisses me softly before picking me up, taking me over to the bed and lies down with me. He hovers over me for a few moments taking in my body. His hands play with the rim of the towel, his eyes watching me slowly. I nod. Ben carefully unwraps me from the towel. I begin to panic a little but manage to calm myself when he kisses me on the neck.
"You are so beautiful." He murmurs into my collarbone. He peppers it with little kisses. "And you're all mine." He says pulling me into a bear hug and snuggling into me making me giggle.

Image by JadeDagenais Image by Alyssa Rodriguez

Suddenly there's a loud shriek and laughing from outside. We both sit up, I grab the towel and wrap it back around me.
"Jack, don't you dear flip me -" Jess yells before she screams, a splash follows.
Jack roars with laughter.
There's a lot more splashing and laughing.
I groan.
"Hey, it's okay just talk to her and you'll clear things up," Ben says stroking my hair from my face.
"It's not that," I say smirking a little.
"Oh." He goes a little pink and grins from ear to ear. "To be continued." He giggles before nuzzling up to my neck.

Ben and I agree to tell them the truth if they ask. We're friends, we like each other but we want to take it slow.
I emerge from the cabin just as Jess and Jack climb out of the water dragging the kayaks.
Her face falls a little when she see's me but she still smiles and waves.
"Hey, can we talk?" She asks.
"Yeah, of course," I say.
We walk around the side of the cabin so we're out of earshot from the boys.
"I want to apologize for what I said the other day." She starts.
I nod.
"I should know not to go there with that sort of thing. You and I have different beliefs and that's fine. I need to accept that and stop pushing you. You'll be ready when you're ready. " She smiles
"Thank you, Jess. It means a lot." I smile and I mean it. She only wants what's best for me.
"It's okay." She says. "I knew you and Ben would be a good match I think we just went about it the wrong way."
"A little," I reply. "But things are good between us and I'm happy you set us up."
"So you like him?" She asks grinning.
"Yes, I do. But we agreed to take things slow in a way and we're just friends at the moment."
She squeals. "Oh yay! I'm so glad you're happy."
I can't help grinning back.
"Have you kissed him yet?" She asks. "Sorry but I gotta know the deets."
"Yes, we have kissed," I say rolling my eyes at her.
She squeals again.
"Yes, he's a good kisser," I say tiredly and before she can ask the question I know she's going to ask but I'm smiling.
She laughs. "Let's go have some brekky."
We head back around to the deck to find the boys have made a huge brunch of fruit, toast, orange juice, tea, coffee, dips, bread, and nuts.
"All good?" Ben asks
"Yeah," I reply smiling up at him.

breakfast, food, and healthy image bakery, breakfast, and chocolate image

Thanks for reading.

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