Dear D,

According to you we were going to take the world by storm. So it shouldn't have came as a surprise when around this time last year we began to get into arguments and I started finding out about the other girls. That was when I began to see how truly ugly and rotten your heart really was. I had been blinded for four years obediently following you and swallowing all your lies. Four years were I could've made something of myself and experienced the life you were already living; the single life.

I wish I could say it doesn't hurt anymore. I wish I could rub it in your face how much better off I am without you. I would love nothing more than to see you suffering for everything you put me through. But unfortunately, I have not reached that place yet. Every day, I wake up I have to remind myself that I am good enough and that none of this is my fault. That just because you betrayed my trust, belittled me, and pushed me down it does not mean that I won't rise again.

Even with all those pretty and inspiring words I still can't bring myself to cry. Sometimes I feel like a balloon with just the right amount of air before it pops. I want that extra bit of air that will send me over the edge because I cannot hold it all in any longer. It physically hurts to hold all the pain in. To pretend like everything is okay day in and day out. And I try, I really do try but for some reason, the tears just won't fall. It is honestly one of the most frustrating things ever to not be able to cry.

So I write this letter not for you but for me in the hopes that putting it all out there will help me move on from the pain or lack thereof. Because I know that one day I'll wake up and you will be nothing but insignificant to me just a little bump on the road


Queen L
quote, laugh, and crying image