birds, gif, and girl image

Dear crush/suitor/unkown lover:

I know I look like a good person, and I actually am. I have friends and people that I love, and I have dreams. And I know that I look like the most lovable person, or a someone that expresses so well.

But I´m not.

My life isn´t easy. I have issues, (like everybody else) that had hurt me my whole life. I have been hurt by my most important people, by lovers and family through hurtful words. I have been taught that I do everything wrong, that my talents aren´t worth and that I should just stay quiet. My self esteem has been destroyed since I was little.

My love life has been mess. It has been full with people who believe love means control, jealousy, distrust and even stalking. And until some months ago, I never knew what it was to have people (friends) that love you with all your imperfections.

I believe that love isn´t made for me, or that´s impossible for someone to like a piece of trash like me. If I feel something for someone, if I say "I like you", "I love you" or "I´m am interested in you" I feel weak and little. So, you can believe I don´t like you, or that I´m not interested on being your friend, or even that I hate you. But I don´t. I just don´t know the correct words to express how I actually feel. I don´t even know my feelings.

I know it´s not your fault your eyes are on me, but I suggest you to change that. Talking to me about feelings is like talking to a wall that will never collapse. You can´t expect me to express myself, because that part in my heart it´s broken.

-Society likes to call people like me the_ No Heart People, but I don´t like that definition. I do have a heart, I just don´t know how to use it. no one ever taught me.

I´m just trying to protect you the way I would have liked to been protected.

gif, car, and hand image
Letter inspired in two of my best friends and the song Sorry by Halsey.