I just saw this post saying that it takes about 14 days to lose a habit. I just hope it is as simple as that, because it just doen't seem so easy to lose a habit, when your habit is a person, a person that used to help you get through every day, a person that was always able to put a smile on your face, a person that got excited every time you told them something that made you happy.

You wake up and you feel happy, you pick up your phone and type 'Goodmorning', and immediately the sadness creeps in. You erase the message and instead you just look at the screen, check if they have already been online, and wait for them to text you. You know that you have to start letting go, however 5 minutes later you already type a new text, you erase it again; It just keeps on going like that, until eventually, you do text them, even though you shouldn't.

You're at school and something funny happens with your professor, the first thing that comes to your mind is 'I can't wait to tell him this when I get home' and right after that, there comes the sad feeling again, because you are supposed to let him go, instead of telling him how your day went.

When you finally get that grade you have been stressing out about for weeks and the result turns out so amazing. You pick up your phone and diall his number, but right when you're about to call him, you realise that you can't just call him anymore, you can't just call him to tell him some good news and share your happiness with him.

On a sad moment, all you want to do is talk to him, because you know that he is the only one who can make you feel better on moments like that. The fact that you can't just run back to him now, makes you feel even worse, so all that's left is you and your sadness.

The hardest part about missing someone is that void feeling you are left with. It's in all the things where they played a part in, every day. It's about the moments that you automatically want to share with them, before realising that they are gone, that your life isn't the way it used to be. It feels like there is a part of yourself missing, you want to fill this void space, but nothing suffices because there is nothing in this entire world that could ever compare to that person, or that could ever replace them. You are so used to having them around, so that when they are not, you honestly don't know what to do.

Everybody tells you to keep busy, to find other people like family or friends, that will help you get through this. At this point, I am grateful that I have enough people helping me and being there for me, but even though they are around enough, not even the smallest part of this void has been filled by them. This empty space, will always be for him, just him, no one else.

The goal is to change my life, my habits so that I will be able to live with this void feeling, without being sad. I am not looking to replace him, because I know that I will never meet someone as amazing as him. I just have to find a way to live with the feeling of not having him around and maybe one day, it won't hurt anymore, it won't make me sad anymore. And getting there, will be so painful, which is, simply, the hardest part of missing someone: getting used to living your life without them, because that means that it is officially done.