𝘋𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘕𝘦𝘸 𝘉𝘰𝘺,

I’m such a coward.

That’s the only thing that goes through my mind as I look at you, well not really at you but your back.

See! I can’t do anything! Not even looking at you from afar. Such a simple thing I can’t do, and just another thing to add to the list.

I hate how shy I am towards anyone but especially you. I can’t even wave at you, or introduce myself, or say a simple ‘Hi’ or make up any excuse to say one word to you. God! Anything even a random “Do you know what day it is” or a simple, “Do you have a pencil,” but I can’t.

There’s this tiny feeling inside of me, a fight between two things that I recently came to comprehend. It’s between my heart who wants you versus my brain who’s trying to think of the best for me.

Or honestly, that could all be bullshit made up of my weird mind or just me remembering it from somewhere.

Though I have to admit I am scared to talk you because it usually results in me making a complete fool out of myself. The first scenario that comes to me is you noticing how abnormal I am and laughing in my face which makes my eyes instantly swell up with tears just thinking about it. Or you telling people how strange I am or how ugly I am, I hate how you have so much power over me without even knowing.

I just don’t want to mess this up.

Because the first impression is what truly matters the most, isn’t it?

It’s the thing that guides a person into liking you and talking to you again or trying to avoid you at all cost. With all that in mind scaring the absolute life out of me I swallow what little pull that's inside of me that wants to talk you and stay in my desk creating scenarios in my head that will never happen.

Because like I said before ‘I am coward.’

So, I just sit back and glance your way, admiring from afar where I can't mess things up.

𝘍𝘳𝘰𝘮, 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘲𝘶𝘪𝘦𝘵 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭 𝘪𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘤𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘴