I'm worried because I can't believe you would like what you're about to see in me. I don't think I'd know how to handle it, and I don't want to disappoint you. Because I already see myself falling asleep on your side, and this is me trying to be sincere. Yes, I know I'm hurrying, I know I'm hurrying things and I imagine you're not like this, you're a "letting yourself go" type. And I even imagine that if we go back to what we used to be, you will not be bothered, cause you don't mind. I can hear you telling me how wrong I am about how badly I think of you.

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But I try to be realistic in the midst of so many dreams of mine. To be realistic and cold as I think you are, because I don't want to give myself too much, and end up losing something that I fought so hard to achieve. I struggled a lot to achieve my independence, focus, to become like this, a person who tries to be centered as much as I can. I try, and you keep me from trying. You take my focus away, and it puts a lot of anxiety in the place.

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Anxiety for you, because I already see myself addicted. Going into abstinence crises without you around. Checking the cell phone every two seconds to check if I have a message from you and if, at some point, you thought of me, because I seem to think of you all the time.

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I think about the things you say, about how you see yourself in me. So, in this possibility of you liking what you'll see, I already imagine myself in a beautiful future. Maybe this future is the goal of life that I needed to create, something to motivate me, and then I found you. But again, I'm rushing, and I don't want it for myself (to lose my focus).