I've been thinking a lot lately about how down I used to feel a few years or months ago.
I remember myself some five years ago, shouting at my mother that I wouldn't end the year alive (I'm so sorry mom).
Yet here I am, five years later, sitting at my desk writing this article, a lot closer to being happy than I've been for ages.
And I've been thinking : what happened that kept me alive ?
The answer is : One Direction.
Well, not exactly One Direction, but their fans, the Directioners.

I've been a Directioner for awhile now, and became a fan during what I think was one of the worst phases of my depression. I remember sitting at my desk, feeling like I couldn't make it anymore, and putting their music in my ears to help me feel better (and it worked almost every time).

I'm a Harry's girl since I started paying attention to the band, and thought for a pretty long time that it was him that helped me go through all of this. Now I'm older and I can say that it was not him, but the idea of him that saved me.

All the fanfics and imagines are the exact thing that helped me. Reading about the famous Harry Styles paying attention to me, caring for me, even loving me was such a relief every day. Reading the fan art gave me hope when I had none. I was like, hey, maybe this could come true one day, you've got to stay alive for it. So I kept on living.

The Directioners' work made me smile when I felt like I'd never wear a smile on my face again, it made me think that better days were yet to come (which ended up being true), it settled a nice, small, warm fire inside my heart.

Reading stories about Harry Styles made me happy, hopeful and lifted some weight off my shoulder when I needed it the most.

The greatest part about it is, I could always carry it around with me for it was all stocked on my phone (I always had storage problems because I had too many pics saved !). Whenever I needed it, this idea of a famous singer would make me feel so much better and help me carrying on.

Therefore, it wasn't Harry Styles himself who saved my life, it's all the stories around him that did. That's why I can say : Directioners saved my life. And for this, I'll never be able to thank them enough.

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To all the people who wrote those and many more : thank you ❤️