And again, i saw him yesterday after many months and it feels like someone stabbed me in the heart, 'cause every time i see him i remind myself that he can't be mine. I was just passing by with my friend and really tried not to look at his direction, forsing myself to laugh and whished he was looking at me like he always does when i show up. (you will know what i am talking about when you read my previous article 'i wonder'). And he did, he was looking, my friend caught him.. I was so happy to hear that but i promised, i will not allow myself to hope again for something so vainly. It's obviously that something is going on or maybe i'm being delusional. And every single time he looks at me i hope that he thinks about me the way i think about him. I am still worrying that some girl will caught his attention and that everything will stop, that she will take something that even didn't belong to me. My blue eyes, where i felt so safe and wanted, that is my home, if she takes that, where i'm supposed to go,? You know.. it's February, it's cold and i don't think i would survive...I swear, i'm not that tipical girl who thinks that the whole world spins around her. I am really trying to be a cold-hearted bitch, but guess.. i'm a failure.