I remember seeing quotes about people missing their old best friends and I ignored them, thinking "people grow apart get over it".
I get it now. I get it now because I can't listen to my old playlists without crying anymore. Those thousands of pictures and videos filling my camera, and phone and room look at me like they want me to hurt.
I wake up with swollen eyes because I cry myself to sleep from missing her so much. I'm a zombie with nothing inside me but sadness. When something tragic happens and something special ends so abruptly you stay in shock for a long time.
I can see her in everything. It all reminds me of her and I don't know what to do with myself. I'm left with no one.
I've never loved someone as much as I loved her. She annoyed the shit out of me but I loved her. Hell I almost got the same stick and poke tattoo as her. I thought we were good. I thought she was good. I waited to not get caught, and by the time I was going to get it, to signify the other half of our friendship, her already having hers...my life fell apart because hers did.
I'm broken and I know she's broken.
We can't contact each other. Why? Who knows. I thought we were just young kids having fun but I guess when someone gets all their secrets forced out of them, we don't really get a choice on whether or not punishment is necessary. Why can't we just have extra supervision? Who knows. Instead, two people with an unimaginable bond were ripped away from each other.
Sometimes I think it's better that we're not in each other's lives anymore. But I can't convince myself of that, there's just too many memories and so much of my heart that is gone to just forget her. She took a piece of me with her and left the rest shattered.
Don't take the people in your life for granted. You don't know when you'll never see them again.
Trust me. I know. Because...

I'm alone.