To KS,

Dear ex-best friend, I loved you to death. I adored you,
You were the only real 'bff' I'ver had. I treated you like an elder sister.
You were my favourite. Not because you were the prettiest out there or 'cuz you were known to everyone in school. I liked you for being YOU.
You were the sweetest person ever known to me.
Yes you were a bitch sometimes, a bit rude too maybe. But that's human nature and none can be a saint. Can they?
Everything was perfect till I decided to screw things up.
Dating your ex should've not been on my list. But I did. Maybe because for the first time in my life, I felt wanted. I felt that I existed. For the first time, I felt better about myself. It made me feel that being the ugly friend didn't suck that much.
You knew very well that I loved him before you two were a couple. How could I resist when the same guy I crushed on, loved me back?
I hesitated before saying yes, but I guess my emotions got the best of me.
I hid it from you for 4 months. The most difficult months of my life they were. The asshole hid it too. But he was the culprit for this whole situation. When he admitted to me how he wanted to make you feel jealous was the only reason he dated me. He told me how he wanted to break our friendship, made me want to punch his damn face. But, guess what? He succeeded. Didn't he?
You completely broke down when you came to know, not because I was dating your ex, but 'cuz I didn't tell you about it, or that's what I think till date.
I tried reaching out to you, explaining things to you. You shut me out, avoided my calls, blocked me. Maybe you had the right to or maybe you didn't.
When we met after 3 long years, maybe all was forgotten by you, or maybe it wasn't. But I couldn't forget what you said to me or the way you behaved. For the sake of what we had you could be a bit wiser in handling the situation. As it is I remember you not being serious with that asshole.
I made a mistake. I was naive. You were mature enough to understand. You knew me better than myself. Maybe it wasn't meant to be.
If only I could take all of this back. I would.
I'm sorry for being so naive and breaking your trust and heart. If you ever come across this do give it a read and maybe just understand my side too.

With Love,
RB