Hello you,

Have you ever experienced huge mood swings and not understanding why straight away?

It is something that is currently happening to me right now, and, may I add, something which has always been this way. Like I'm really feeling genuinely good in the morning, the day goes by and the happiness is gone, and I don't understand why because nothing bad has happened to me that day.

That's when I realize that in the morning I was talking to my "crush" (it is more complicated than that but it is another story) and that I haven't got any news from him ever since, and it is making me feel like crap. As if the former enthusiasm has been snatched away from me, without my consent and without even thinking about it.

Dependency?

That's how I come to the point that I am dependent on other people when it comes to the way I feel. I had already noticed that with my best friend. When she doesn't talk to me about her feelings it makes me feel terrible. It might seem normal but like it isn't as if I felt terrible and then I could go on with my life and forget about it. It affects me in everything that I do, everywhere that I go, every thought that I have.

It struck me even more recently. I found out exactly what my best friend has been through and how she's been feeling. And like I got borderline depressed for a month. It's like I didn't experience any joy, only satisfaction or laugh but nothing quite as good as true joy and excitement. I know that people get sympathetic when it comes to their relatives but I'm not sure it affects them in every single way like that.

It's is not that I'm really dependent on people, but I sure am dependant on how they feel, and I don't know how to deal with that. In my personal life, I have no reason at all to feel sad, and I wished I could just enjoy that fact and try to find happiness but it is so hard.

I hope someone feels the way I do and recognized themselves in what I wrote,

Have a good day and check out my other articles :