It starts with those little things like I need to lose weight ... or gosh my nose is just sooo big!.
People always look at each other, it`s normal. But you stare at them and wonder `Why can`t I have a body like that?`
In the evening you stare into the mirror. Maybe you don`t even look like what you see there, but you can`t ignore those fat-rolls and the big nose, the chubby cheeks and the wide shoulders. It all suddenly bothers you.
The next day you can`t eat. You don´t want to. There is this image in your head of that tall-gorgeous-looking woman you saw in the streets, or the kind neighbourhood girl that is so small and cute with the perfect body...No. Who needs food, eating and getting fat? Definitely not you.
You try to ignore those grumbling sounds your stomach makes.
Hopefully nobody heard it. Your friends ask you if you want to eat with them. No. Not today. I´m sorry...
As time passes by you lose weight. Fast and simply. You feel happy but don`t, you`ll love your looks but also not. You crie.
The fat-rolls disappeared. The chubby cheeks are gaunt. The wide shoulders hang down.
You start to eat again. Hate yourself for every single bite. You start to gain weight, but that shouldn´t be!
You stop eating again. The wheel will never stop.
You will never look like the others. F*cking Idiot.
I hate myself.