I`ve ever been that type of person that was thinking too much. Way too much!
Before two months the relationships to the most important people in my life began to become really bad, and also my mood. A phase of depression started. That`s nothing new for me, but this time I really thought I wasn`t able to overcome my thoughts.
Most people say: "You have to talk about it." So I tried to talk. What a surprise: it didn`t work.
Everyone I told about my problems said: "It will get better" or "Don`t worry, you`ll do that"

If I could
I wouldn`t talk to you!!!

So I tried to do things that make me happy. It didn`t work.
While painting I thought about him.
While Listening to music I thought about him.
While reading I thought about him. I can`t even remember what happened in the book I`ve read.
And writing about something else than him isn`t possible (as you can see).

So the only way to end this was thinking.
The last two months I just had bad thoughts about my loved ones.
I probebly started hating them for what they did to me. Even if they didn`t even notice it. I feel bad for thinking my life was better without them. Maybe for some of them it was right but what if it wasn`t?
So I`ll just let the time do to us what ever it wants.
I started thinking about the good moments with these people.
I remember when my best friend and I furtively swam in the pool at night or when we walked along the streets at 3 am.
I remember when we spent a whole day catching butterflies, just to let them fly at the end of the day.
I remember when my boyfriend first kissed me on a field when we were walking with my dog. We stayed there for at least 20 minutes.
Or when we stood 3 hours and a half at the bus station because I didn`t wanna leave him.

I started being happy again. I was able to enjoy my music, to paint and to read again.

And these memories will stay even if the people won`t.
So don`t be sad. Be happy and grateful for these things.
Stop being sad because something could change one day. Just enjoy your time right now!