I'm gonna start this off with the fact that it's 1:53am and I'm filled with the overwhelming urge to just cry and write and just... yeah. So, if this isn't deleted by the morning, then I must've liked what I wrote and yeah. This is a short excerpt from my mind about a boy who broke my heart... what's new?

How does the saying go?
'I lost someone who didn't
love me, but they lost someone who
loved them'?

I would love to say that that's true, but in our circumstances I just can't because you did love me. You told me all the time that you did, and even if you never said the four letter word, I knew you did anyway. The way you would look at me and smile that gorgeous lopsided smile of yours, or the way your eyes would sparkle whenever I said your name, or the pure joy that spread on your face whenever you'd tease me.

There's some things that never require the need for it to be made official. Our relationship was one of them. I mean, In all honesty it was bound to happen. You know, the whole cliché 'best friend's fall for each other' thing. A romantic's dream. But for us, it always kind of... remained a dream. We were never official, but after eleven years full of undeniable chemistry, incredible inside jokes and insane memories, it was safe to say that we knew we weren't 'just friends'.

Three months into the start of the new year and we were as happy as ever. I made new friends, you made new friends yet we always had time for each other. It was always like that.

That was until I introduced you to one of my friends. She was gorgeous. Stunning smile, a laugh that was contagious and a brain that would resemble Einstein's. I started noticing that you's would spend more time together. She started excluding me from certain things, wanting to spend more 'alone time' as you's would call it. I wasn't mad because of course, I thought that you'd still make time for me. I mean, what else am I supposed to expect. Sadly, my expectations were seemingly too high.

Over the course of seven months, we barely spoke. It was killing me on the inside, but I didn't want to be the clingy bestfriend, nor lose you, and so I never said anything. The amount of times I cried in my bedroom, desperately waiting for you to message me back. The amount of sleepless nights I had when my Anxiety got the best of me and all I could do was hope that it'll go away, because god forbid that I message you and interrupt your slumber. The amount of times I was forced to look you dead in the eye and fake a smile just so you'd think that I'm okay is f**king unbelievable.

Then it happened. She finally took you away from me, forever. She fed you lies about me, about us. Lies that were so stupid, I thought you'd pick up that they were fake. I wish you did. But you didn't, and now I'm left all by myself to deal with the pain of loosing the one person that I thought I never would.