Each raindrop that caresses the ground is searching
To remember if its been there before, like
How we replay our thoughts in our heads
As our glassy eyes are glued to the ceiling at night
The dim light
Our bodies are too heavy
In our beds
While we ask ourselves the same question
Over and over
When does it get better?

And I, I am filled with lust
From my head to my toes
Like a bathtub filling with dread
Slowly, but surely, it makes it's way
Up to the top

What if everyone is constantly searching
For the finish line
In this painfully long race
We call life

So I ask you
Please don't compare your mile 1
To someone else's mile 10

Because I do it to often
And when I do, its as if
I have run out of gas
In the middle of the steep hill
I try to push myself up the road

I want to be like that one girl
Who has everything
I too, want her happy ending
A dress plated with gold
But she is on mile 7
I am stuck at mile 1

And she, too, has run out of gas before
She, too, feels sad sometimes
That's what gas stations are for
I just haven't come across one in a while

So my tires continue to turn in place
Stuck in the mud
As the cars zoom past me
Up the mountain
All these people leading crazy, interesting lives
They discover new things everyday
From their incredible journeys
They are growing up and falling in love

Here I am
Sitting in my little car
With my little, boring life
And I know I can run
Just as fast as anyone else in this race
Called life
However, now,
I am walking instead of running

For I don't have the energy
My car doesn't have enough gas
And myself, I can't get to my destination on time

As I sat here and wrote this
Maybe I've made it to mile 2 without realizing it
I am young, not old enough to be a princess

Like that girl
With the curly blonde hair and blue eyes
A smile that lights up the entire kingdom
Including the face of the boy
I used to want so badly

And I still live in the kingdom, on the streets
With all the other townspeople
Begging for food and riches
Like how I always beg for
Foregiveness
Attention
And love

I will lever have curly hair
Or big blue eyes
But one day, I too,
Will have a dress, plated,
With something precious,
Other than gold

And eyes sparkling
With something other than longing

In order to move on instead of sit still
I just need a new pair of shoes
To get me where I want
Whenever I choose

As this story goes
Maybe one day
I will be able to see through
My thick skin
And peer into the face of the happy,
Brown eyed girl
Who knows who she is
She has been hiding inside me this whole time
Trying to tear her way out
And now she will have reached the surface

She will take my place
Onto the throne
And she will say

I have finally found myself.