Hi guys, I know I have not written in a while but, some crazy shit has happened to me, so I really wanted to share. I'm going to start with some beginning details, but then move straight forward to the relevant parts of the story. Lets begin.

In the beginning of 2017 I had just started second semester of grade 11 at my high school. There was this guy named Vince, who I had always found attractive since grade 9, but I had never talked to him. This semester, we had the exact same schedule, which was crazy. I remember in the beginning I was like, why is this guy in all my classes what the heck ?? But, something in my mind was telling me that I wanted him, lol. I wanted him to be my boyfriend. I remember, at my friends sleepover, I was talking to them about him, and I was saying how this year I was going to make him my boyfriend. This sleepover happened in February. FAST FORWARD to May 6, 2017, he asked me to be his girlfriend and of course, I said yes. Our relationship was amazing. We could've said that we were that "power couple" at our school (lame). Eventually, I fell in love with him, but he told me he loved me first. We did have some issues in our relationship though, like most couples do. Often he would make jokes about cheating on me, or breaking up with me. I always told him to stop, but he still made them from time to time. Also, there was always a girl in the way. Vince had a lot of female friends, which I didn't mind, since most of my friends were males. But, there was always a girl who didn't quite sit right with me. The first girl was A. She had been friends with him since elementary school. They had this group of friends and sometimes that group would chill at each others houses. I didn't mind, but sometimes he'd try to make me jealous with her, which I obviously did not appreciate. Then was this girl N, who goes to school with us. N and Vince were like best friends, and he told her everything. Me and N were friends, she was really nice. Vince once told and SHOWED N something that he shouldn't have (trusting her as a best friend obviously) and N went and told other people. Eventually this big rumour started. I instantly cut off N, and Vince should have to, considering the situation, but he did not. Vince and I were a good couple, but we had our issues and those were just a few of them.

FAST FORWARD to December 2017. Vince and I were almost at 8 months of dating. I was so happy with him, and he seemed to be happy with me too. Near the winter breaks (for school) he started becoming distant. It was like, he was barley talking to me, and when he would it was extremely dry conversations, like I was a friend. We did not go out as often, but that was mainly because we were busy with school. During the winter break, I felt this distance the most. I'd always ask him if we could chill, but he was always busy. Eventually, the day before nye I went to his house and we exchanged Christmas gifts. I was only with him for like 2 hours and then I had to leave. After that day, we never got to chill again. The Tuesday of that same week, I had asked him to come over because I was going to be home alone and I just wanted to hang out. I missed him of course. He was saying he'll see just in case he had work. NOTE, there was still no school at this time, and we still had 5 days until it started. So, the day before Tuesday I asked him to come over and he said he couldn't because he was meeting up with this girl, S, for her to help him with his ISU (school project). I was bothered by it, especially since I haven't seen him in a while, this was my only day and it was with another girl. But, I was like okay, whatever, and he said he would come see me at night if he had time. That night, I texted him around 7 asking if he was still going to come because it was late. He replied back saying he was at the mall with this girl grabbing something to eat. This obviously made me mad (any girl would understand why). My petty ass, basically told him to have fun at the mall with another girl, and don't bother coming. Eventually he showed up a half hour before my dad was supposed to come home. I was mad and he pulled the "don't you trust me??" card. We talked and I felt bad for getting mad at him because he had went for school purposes and they just decided to grab food. So, we talked it out and we were fine.

Throughout the last week of break, he was still being very dry and distant. He had also stopped calling me, his reasons were homework, he didn't take his break at work or he was tired. I would constantly ask him if everything between us was okay. I knew it wasn't okay, I felt it. I always asked to make sure, I explained to him how I was feeling and he did the same, but he just eventually would say that we're fine and everything would be okay. When school started, it felt different. This is now first semester of Grade 12, the last month. We had no classes together, only lunch. We sat with each other at lunch with all of his friends. He would barley talk to me at lunch, mainly to his friends. He would always randomly talk about S though. Just mention something about her, or bring her up randomly. I also would now often see them walking in the halls together, which never used to happen. The day before he broke up with me, I remember looking over at his phone at lunch and he had 3 messages from her. Like he had been texting her constantly, even though they just had class together. That night, we got into a mini argument because I wanted to hang out the next week and again, he was busy. I hadn't hung out with him in like 3 weeks, so I got mad.

The next day, he only texted me good morning. Then at lunch, I did not sit with him because I was mad and I'm just that type of person, which is no excuse but, I was really mad at him. He wasn't making any time for me, while I was trying so hard to fit in even a few hours in my schedule to be with him. That afternoon we went home together in silence. We spent an hour together going home, but he didn't say anything about the night before, or about anything in general, and I honestly couldn't get words to come out of my mouth. That night when I got home, I texted him asking if he was busy that coming Sunday night, I just wanted to go over to see him and talk. He replied back again, saying he couldn't see me. At this point, I was just tired of being the only one putting in the effort and it was hurting me a lot. Then he texts me back saying "so I was thinking, we should take a break". My heart literally sank to my stomach. Firstly, this is not something you talk about through text and he could've told me earlier that day. I had texted him saying to call me and he did.

He spent a good 2 hours on the phone that night. He wanted to take a break, and come back to me when he was ready. In my opinion, that wouldn't have been fair to me. I would have to wait until he was ready, but what if he never came back. He said how he had been feeling like this for a while, but he was trying to fix it himself. I was mad, because I would constantly ask him if everything was okay and he said it was fine. He told me he was going to wait until AFTER exams to tell me how he was feeling, exams were in 3 weeks. He was going to fake it for 3 weeks. Eventually I just said we should end it, it wasn't fair to me to be waiting, and it wouldn't be fair for him to be in a relationship he didn't want to be in. We broke up that night, after 8 months of being together. His reasons, he wasn't excited to talk to me anymore, he was stressed and he wanted to focus on himself. I have never felt more sad after this conversation. I love this guy so much. I gave him everything I could offer and he led me on for a good 2 weeks, trying to fix something that was no longer there for him, instead of telling me after the 20 times I had asked him. This hurt me a lot, and it still hurts.

FAST FORWARD, its been a week since we broke up. We no longer sit with each other at lunch and our social media accounts have no trace of each other. Lately, he has been seen more and more with S. S no longer says hi to me, like she used to. In the one class we have together, sometimes I'll catch her starring at me and when I look up she instantly looks away. I know that there is something going on between them, and it is so painful to watch right in front of me. I still love him, and I just feel so lonely now a days. I have nothing to look forward to anymore. I'm not saying I based my entire life off of Vince, but he was one of the things that kept me going everyday and I cared about him so much, and I still do. His friends still talk to me, and ask me how I'm doing every now and then. I see him in the halls and he pretends I don'y exist. He asked me to stay friends, but he's doing the total opposite. It sucks, how much you can love somebody and they can't see it. Right now, I would do anything to get back with him. I miss him so much and I'm trying to move on with my life, but it is difficult. Especially knowing that he's already trying to move on to another girl, probably while we were dating too. It hurts me a lot.

I just wanted to share this with other people. If anybody has experienced something similar, feel free to talk to me. I'm not saying every guy is like this, or will hurt you like he did to me, but make sure you don't fall in love for just anybody. Make sure you love something he treats you like you deserve the world, because anybody below that is not worth your time. It hurts a lot to let go of somebody that you love so much, but if its causing you so much pain, it isn't real love. Prayer circle that I get over him faster, because everything hurts right now and I miss him more than ever at this point.