by k.s.d
January 22nd, 2018

For my first ever entry I thought I’d share one of the answers I found to one of the most unavoidable misfortunes everyone experiences in high school: feeling alone.

While this may be somewhat of a long read, I promise you my words just may be the comfort and enlightenment you are searching for if you are experiencing something similar. So whenever you have the time, please sit down and trust in the words of an online stranger because even if we don't know each other I know we're both more than acquainted with the same inner demon.

So at this point you might be wondering "what does being your best friend really mean?"

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Now, careful this does not mean to isolate yourself from everyone, nor does it mean to devalue the friendships you already have. Instead, it means to be comfortable with yourself and who you are. It means to have the ability to continually show love and empathy for yourself especially during times where you may find it hard to even like yourself. You might find yourself feeling alone at this time or this might be the day that you made a huge mistake and feel everyone hates you, but I’m here to remind you that everyone goes through these types of bad experiences. I’m also here to teach you that it’s mainly up to ourselves to grow from bad experiences or to continually dig ourselves into a deeper hole of self pity. Remember that rainstorms help flowers grow and rise above the ground.

But don’t rush yourself. Cry if you need to. It is okay to be sad. That’s not self pity. That’s a part of the healing process. Just remember your value afterwards. Self pity is not healing. It is like picking at a scab over and over again until it bleeds. You replay everything that is wrong in your life and you fall into an endless pit of feeling sorry for yourself. It took me a while to realize I was practicing self pity instead of allowing myself to be sad as humans should. It was a time in which I felt I didn’t fit in my group of friends and I laid feeling worthless and sad in my bed every now and then. Instead of knowing I am worth something just as I am as an individual. Instead of knowing I am worth getting to know regardless of who accepted me as their best friend or not. So maybe I’ll save you a few tears and tell you now to cheer on your successes and motivate yourself in times of failure even when no one will. You're a valuable entity whether someone agrees or not. We’ll all be alone at one time or another either way, so it is not premature to say that acting as your own best friend is a good skill to have.

It might just even be the must-have skill to survive these cruel teenage years.

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Hopefully this jumble of words made sense to you and helped you reason better in some sort of way. Please don't feel afraid to message me and ask if something didn't make sense I sort of wrote this on a whim with minimal editing. Anyways, thank you for reading my first ever entry if you made it this far! :D