I'd love it if you take some time to read this, because i promise it can change your perspective so much once you realize this for good. I wrote this because I hope it can help you as much as it did to me♡

When i was little i wanted to have this tree house. It would be high above the ground and i knew no one would bother me there. It would be my special place. I wanted to paint little pink and turquoise feathers on the wooden walls and dream of freedom every time i look at them. What freedom exactly, i didn't know. I always wanted to be free, i don't know of what, but i was desperate to be free. Maybe I still am. I haven't imagined myself there for a long time, not up until now.

When it gets tough, i want to disappear, just stop the time, stop the panic and time from slipping through my fingers. Please make everything stop. We all tend to be strong and be called strong but when it comes to it, you just want to cry and brake into thousands of little pieces scattered all over the floor. You want to be dust. So light, flying everywhere, so unbothered. So today, i imagined myself in that tree house again. It's been a while. Can't stop thinking i've gone somewhere wrong with myself. Why do i keep tormenting myslef, why so much hate? What have i done to treat myself like this, what can't i forgive myself for?

When my head is a mess like it is this time, i want to climb into the tree house and stop thinking, forget it all. Some say loneliness is bad, but all i want is to be alone until i fix myslef for good. Well, you can't pause life until you're all good and then just pick up where you left off. Well i freaking wish i could!! I just wish i could! I don't want to go through life feeling 'damaged' in a way not entirely put together, not done with my insecurities yet. I don't want to walk around as exposed as this, vulnerable to anything and everything that could hit me any minute. I don't want to be caught up in something that could brake me, i still feel too soft and bare to walk around fiercely pretending i'm a perfection of a human being. I still don't even feel whole, i sometimes can't even call myself a person when i actually feel like nothing. It's all called life, i know, and nobody gets their special time to prepare for it. But i don't like that it feels like a crazy stupid race i can't win because i'm constantly running behind.

I wonder what my life would be like without knowing what i know and the people i know. Would i really care about meeting them again? And maybe i wouldn't be so lost in the clouds without all the books and movies and fantasies i've seen and read. All the different lives and places i've seen on the screen. Maybe i let it all get to me and forgot to live my own life. Maybe it would be the best not to know anything. Because, i never thought about what would life be like if i acted like i'm the only thing that exists, the only thing that matters.

What if there wasn't for the pictures you saw, stories you heard, friends and soulmates you've never met, places you didn't visit, dreams you fear of not living, unrealistic expectations you haven't fulfilled? What if there was nothing...absolutely nothing but YOU? Suddenly, it's all gone, no worries, no fears, no nothing, the most important thing is you.
Imagine: you just walked out of your tree house and the day is actually quite lovely, you're peaceful because, well, you feel kinda..funny. Happy? And you wonder, darling, who has ever told you that you can't be happy just because you are your perfect little self?

Who the hell told you you can't be awesome if you don't talk and amuse people 24/7? Who the hell told you you can't wear nike if you're not an athlete? Who the hell told you that you're not? Who THE HELL told you all the love you have was meant to give to someone else? And finally, who the freaking hell made you believe you're going to have another life to live, gave you this one to hate it so the other one could be pitch perfect? No. No no no. This one is all you get. Go out there and make this one peachy. Something you don't like about yourself?
Get up and change it! Because, for once, believe you can❀ Once you realize these things, answer these questions in your head truthfully, love, you may, without a shadow of doubt, proudly and fiercely call yourself FREE.