Hi there. I'm just taking a couple of minutes to reflect on the year I left behind, and the one I welcomed only 8 days ago.

2017 completely changed my perspective on life, not meaning it was always troughing good moments

I hit rock bottom and ever since, I've been climbing back up. It was not an easy year. The worst, if you want me to be severely honest.

I have to admit that I lived the happiest moments of my life during 2017 as well as the ones I would never choose to live again, make part of my story and of who I am.

I have learned to love and appreciate everything I see around me. To love the sun, its majesty, its light. To love the sky, something I would look up to while humming the words to my favorite song.

In all of those moments, I prayed not to wake up in the next morning.

Not yet sure if I'm grateful to be awake after all.

I found myself in a way I could never imagine.

And yes, I'm different.

I write to express myself, not needing to do so by talking to other people.

I've seen myself genuinely crying uncountable times. I used to write everything I was feeling at that moment. Raw words, untouched feelings I'll always keep to myself, and only myself.

Melodies of songs I will never forget, even if I tried.

They do bring me painful memories which do not make me love them any less.

It's weird how you can live such an adventure inside of four bare walls and a clear window.

I remember the feeling of the rays of May sun warming up my wet skin, drying up the tears.

I should recall these memories as bad ones, something I weirdly don't do because after all, they helped me grow and thought me how to be truly brave.

I could never forget my baby pink robe, that turned into pale pink with the years. As well as the music, the moon, and my notebook, my robe should be buried with me, since it had always been there during the worst moments.

I am sure I've stared at my ceiling during more time than I ever have stared at anything else.

There are feelings we cannot verbalize nor write. There is just no way of letting someone know what you felt at a certain time. And, after all, maybe you don't need to.

Most of the times, not even you can recall what it felt like. That is why it's so important to live and only live those moments. Not worrying if you're keeping track of it, only enjoying the moment. Even if it's a bad one.

It may not seem like for those around me, but I have an insane story, that I'm not yet ready to tell. Maybe not even ready to remember without letting some tears escape in the process.

I do acknowledge that I am different. I am somewhat special. I stand out, not always on the outside, but mostly inside. I've been embracing it ever since I decided that it was who I am, at least for now.