"stop eating you are already fat enough. don't you see? that number on that scale isn't low enough! the number of kcal you eat isn't low enough. the exercises you did today are not enough. what did you think? that you were enough? for him?? you think he loves you in this shape...? you really think...?"

damn it..stop it! stop screaming at me, stop telling me that this is wrong, that I'm living wrong. damn it...you ruining me. you know what!?
maybe my legs don't leave a gap in the middle, you may see my ribs and collarbones not good enough but you can see the tears on my face because of the things you said. I want you to stay out of it, it's my body not yours.

said the girls who fought against the things her head kept telling her everyday she stood up out of bed. and it wasn't the only voice she heard, there was another one. the one who told her that she could better die, that she wasn't enough to live in a world with all the wonderful people. because she was ugly! because she eat to much!
because she...?

because what?! even the girl who cries trough the night, even the girl who isn't as skinny as everyone else, even the girls with scars or big hips is allowed to live here. you are allowed to live here.

and so is that girl..me.