Anxiety sucks. It makes life and simple things be so much more difficult than it has to be. I am always overthinking and thinking the worst possible case scenarios that are not even one bit possible. Some days it's so hard to go outside or interact with people. Its as if the word is spinning and I am stuck at that moment. Standing and watching the world function around you but feeling stuck is such a terrible feeling. I have had anxiety for the past 5 years and 2017 was such a hard year for me but it was also the year I became more open regarding my anxiety. I used to never be open about having anxiety. I was embarrassed, I was ashamed... I didn't want people to feel pity for me or pretend to understand or just think I am joking. So I kept it to myself. Dating was so hard when I wasn't open to the person I was dating that I had anxiety. I would leave the room when I was having an anxiety attack or even worse a panic attack. Recently I started to become more open about it because I realized how I kept pushing people away. I also currently am open about my anxiety with my boyfriend. He doesn't see me as broken but he sees me as such a strong person.He never grew up knowing anyone with anxiety and he never experienced it himself. He didn't understand but he has been supportive since day one. I do feel bad how sometimes I make him upset over things that I do because of my anxiety. For example, I always ask him if he loves me and wants to still marry me. I know he does but I still constantly ask him for reassurance. I know in my heart he loves me, I know I'm the only one he wants. Now, I am not embarrassed or ashamed of my anxiety. It is part of me but it does not define me. I am still learning on how to cope with my anxiety. 2018 will be the year I learn how to do that.