*Someone's bullying you? Beat em up
*He or she doesn't like you back? Glow up and find yourself someone hotter, become rich and make out in front of them
*You're broke? Steal
*You're tired of your family treating you like shit? Burn the house down
*Tired of school? Shoot it up
*Hungry? Eat the whole fridge
*Want to be famous? Leak a sex tape
*Feel ugly? Put some makeup on
*Feel alone? Hire a prostitute
*Your dad left? Find a sugar daddy

Hope it helps :) -its a joke, don't get butt hurt...