First of all, I never had a boyfriend, maybe dated once or twice but I don't really consider that as dating. So what I'm trying to say that I'm still figuring out how it feels like to fall in love. So there was this guy whom applying to work. My manager tease me saying like he's not bad looking afterall. To be honest I have no attention of being in a relationship at all so I didn't think much.

So he started working with me on a first day, I was really not feeling anything and nope we don't talk.... like at all cause I'm not able to bring myself to him ugh like why?! He don't talk that much either. Days and months passed by and I could still feel the awkwardness in the air between me and him only. I did try to start the conversations first but always ends up silent -_-

I started to wonder like why am I feeling this way, do I have a crush on him? Do I like him? Well I do think his charming and a good guy. I get blush not when I see him but when people starts to tease me with him. Oh no its bad yeah it is.It seems like people know how I feel rather than I know myself? I knew I maybe had a crush on him when I started to think of him lately, maybe 70-80% of the time?!?!

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There were hints that he actually like a friend of mine. They did started talking here and there. When I knew I was like yeah its totally fine yknow, not like I would end up with him anyway. But at a certain point of the time, for goodness sake I wish I know why, I starting to feel so sad that they actually contacted each other? We do hang out together like a few times before.

After like maybe 6 months... I could finally have a proper conversation with him. That is when I feel like " Yeah I might have a crush on you, but hey if the crush thoughts standing the way from me talking to you, then I would surely prefer to see you as a friend,being comfortable and jokes around."

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The friend of mine got back to the ex, and suddenly he started to feel moody all week, I did try to cheer him up. (he didn't know or have any clue that I knew what's going on between him and my friend) I kept everything to myself and at the same time trying my best to cheer him up since we got a lot more comfortable with each other.I felt so much closer to him.

So to whoever that are having a huge crush on someone but don't think you can have him then its okay. I mean like you can either go all the way or maybe just be friends like a good ones. Sometimes things are much better that way rather having to go through heartbreaks just because he ends up with other girls, come on suck it up! Keep the positive vibes coming in.

Hence, I am blessed to have known him, he might just be a passerby but thank you for entering my life. I would treasure every moment that we had, I pray for all good things to happen to you. You deserve the best.❤