I thought about me... about things I like and don't. and you know what? i don't even know what i like anymore. i just feel like every time i am saying something its just others point of view and where is mine? where am i? why am i always hiding my personality so so deep inside me? why do i need these lies...
i always looked at others and thought why i cant be like them? why cant i just be as confident? why my smile is so disgusting. why my every word is so out of place. why cant for me be the life easier.
And do you want to know about my solution? I have just started acting. I acted the girl who always smiles and laughs who is not afraid. but i cant continue like this. Its not me.
I am just tired of smiling when only thing i want to do is to cry
Do you know what my dream is? to just be in the black room, where there is no one except me. there is no exit and no entrance. me and myself.
There i would not think.
I will be free
Without thoughts
When i imagine it i feel so much relaxed
And imagine blackness which surrounds you....