NOTE: send in questions for my next q&a! i'm gladly accepting all!

my dearest,
allow me to apologize
for my unknowing knowledge
of what love is.
as much as i feel, like everyone feels it,
i can't help but realize that it's different
to me.
now, of course, if i tell you,
that i wake up thinking about you
and go to bed thinking about you
and all the time of the in-between i think
of the smallest possibility
of being with you,
you’d tell me (despite what you
really think about me)
that there’s nothing wrong with that
and that’s how everyone feels it.
however,
if i tell you that i punish myself
every night,
for even allowing myself to dream of your eyes,
and that i offer so much hate towards my side
for even thinking about you,
the way i know you’d never think of me,
would you agree,
that this is not how it's done,
and that i may be a little too concerned
about how much i deserve to love.
because i’m human,
i deserve just as much,
as anyone and anyone deserves
everything they are in need of.
but i can’t help but push deep the thought
that you’re much more than
anything, or even, everything
that i could ever ask for.
so, yet again, i apologize
for my unknowing knowledge
of what love is.
i might not love the same way
as others do, but i love,
with every single piece of my heart,
i dedicate my whole self to you.

yours truly, etc.

(ps. of where this will bring you
and what taste will it leave you,
i, unfortunately, don’t know.
let me love you, sometimes
you won’t understand
where my actions and words hold
their origin.
sometimes, there will be no
actions or words, and you’ll think
that i might have stopped loving you.
but trust me, please do, when i say,
that all my mistakes come from fear
of losing you.
that’s the last thing i want
and i’ll try to ignore it
i will give you myself if i have to.
i will love you my ways
and you teach me yours
and maybe we’ll define love
in a new way.)
_________________________

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