We've been in love for so long. I can't even remember what not loving him feels like. It's like my purpose of life to have feelings for him. Whether they are good or sometimes bad. In the end, we'll always be something.
He was my first love, my first heartbreak. I'll never forget him, no matter where life takes us. And it's kinda selfish of myself to not want him to be happy with somebody that isn't me, even though I, myself have someone new.
They say when you love someone, you want them to be happy, no matter if it isn't you, but that is not the f*cking truth. When you love someone with your whole body and soul, then the only one you want them to think about is you.
You know, it's just difficult to let go and hold on at the same time. Moving on with someone else and at the same time finding yourself craving another.
And there are days, where I can't breathe or eat or sleep or think or even move, when my heart hurts too much. And the thing is, only God knows what to do.