Dear you,

We don't really know why things go as they go. What I do know, is that I really never wanted this to happen. We began as strangers, who got in touch more and for me there grew love. Where I know it didn't for you, however you never really made it feel like it meant nothing for you. Apart from the love feelings who were there or not there, you were my friend and that is something we could both agree on.

I remember how you actually gave me the confidence about my body by randomly saying: look at that flat belly with a smile where you could see that you actually really thought I looked beautiful. And on the contrary still laughed when we went for an ice cream, because you were an ass to me once again and eventually got a box of 20 chicken nuggets where I ate 15 and you 5. I remember how we could talk for hours, about nothing really. I remember that day when you brought me home and the window was frozen and you just drove with that and eventually had to scratch it off with I don't know a library card or something, but it was kind of funny. I do remember our fights as well for example when you kissed another girl which made me so angry. But then you got angry of me kissing another guy, saying you were not jealous at all, but we both know you were. Our fights about you not making a commitment to me, but maybe I was just naive for thinking it could've been more. Still I will never regret those memories. Because even though you made me sad so much, there were so many happy times as well. But what I do kind of regret is falling for you so hard, because I felt so hard that now I also have a hard time of letting you go. I hate the feeling that you do all these things with someone else now and probably not even think about me anymore. I hate it that suddenly we are strangers who awkwardly smile at each other like nothing really happened.

I still don't really believe that you've actually fallen in love this time. And yes, I am jealous of the girl with who you actually out of the blue made a commitment with. Even though my heart has been broken kind of badly and has been punched for like 50 times, I still hope I will see you again some day, maybe now or in the future. That we can just sit down and talk about what happened and that you can let me in as a friend again. Also I want you to know, that I'll be there when you need me and I really hope we will be together again some day.


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