I have this friend of mine
his name is sadness
I remember the first time he said hi to me
it went a little something like:

“hi! you! yes, you! let’s be friends!
well, you don’t really have a choice so, you better get used to me.”
I accepted him though
I accepted him with open arms

our first few stages of friendship were easy
he would only visit me every once in a while
maybe even once a year
but soon, he started bringing his other friends

he introduced me to each one of them
pain, anxiety, insecurity
and the list goes on
he introduced me to each one of them

as the years pass, his visits started to become more frequent
all the while, bringing with him his large group of friends
it would become unbearable sometimes
it would become too much; too overwhelming

they would all talk at the same time
make too much noise that it would cloud my senses
but then everything changed
one destined visit made my whole life turn a complete one-eighty

this friend of mine, sadness introduced me to this person
her name is depression
gosh, she’s gorgeous
tall, beautiful and astounding

quickly, we became the best of friends
at some point, I felt a sense of relief
I thought she would be my hope; my savior
but I guess I was wrong

she would come to my house everyday
we would have tea parties
would even have sleepovers
but how I wish it would all end

every day, she would lock me up in my bedroom
make me held captive in my own home
these days, I couldn’t even cry for help
my voice would get caught up in my throat

I would sit there choking on my own words
words that I wish could escape out of my mouth
words that I wish I could just vomit out
god, how I wish this would all end

i would feel as if I’m being suffocated
drowned by the thoughts that she keeps drilling in my own head
gasping for air
gasping for freedom

I would feel as if I’m chained to the floor
arms and legs tangled in endless amounts of chains and locks
chains so heavy that I couldn’t even move my arms
even if I try

and I try so hard, everyday
to even just move a centimeter
every day, depression will just knock at my front door
and add another chain on my already mummified body

god, when will this end?
six long months of waiting has only led me to having more and more and even more chains tangled onto my body
so please lord, answer me
when will this end?