He will tell you that he loves you.
And when he ignores you for weeks, he will finally text you back when you say you're going to leave.
He will tell you he's just been busy,
and that he meant it when he said he loved you.
Then you will have to beg for any attention you get.
You'll spend hours and hours
Dollars and dollars
in your car
filling up your gas tank
driving around a town that feels a lot like a burden by the time he was done with you
because as soon as you pull up into your drive way
you're torn apart by memories of him.
Memories of you and who you used to be.
Memories of the both of you together
when you really loved each other.
And as you run that red light, you'll understand that you're running on borrowed time
and the credit score that is your heart
can not take anymore debt.
You see,
When he tells you he loves you,
when he sends you kissy faces and hearts
it'll only be because you promised him a Christmas present.
And this will be the first Christmas in three years that you will ache at the lack of his voice
The first Christmas in three years
that he hasn't come around
And maybe it'll finally hit you
that this boy does not care about you.
He sees you as the fly at the picnic table
when you are the stars that light up the desert night sky.
And when he tries to burn out your light
Stand your ground.
Baby girl
You were made by the hands of God
with the intention that you will not just stand firm in the storm
But that you will be the storm
Baby girl
When that boy tries to crawl into your bed
when he visits your friends
Do not let him.
Remember how your heart crumbles at the sound of his name when he leaves
Remember how your lungs burn like you don't have the air to breathe
Remember how your soul aches every time you watch him drive away
to another town that never included you.
Baby girl
When that boy refuses to love you
it is not your fault.
You did nothing wrong.
There is nothing wrong with trying a million times only to be ignored even though he never let you go
Nothing about you was wrong.
So when the tears build up
And your hands can no longer stay at your sides but break open like suns exploding
know that you are the moon and all the stars
and nothing about you was made to be sand.
Nothing about you was meant to be pushed and pulled until you drowned in an ocean that was never yours.