I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I hurt you. Odds are I was probably hurting too, and I didn't realise who I was hurting while I tried to mend myself.

I'm sorry I was a wreck. I'm sorry your silence hurt me. I'm sorry that when I decided to text you a year later to see how you were doing you told me you had typed out so many messages over the past year but you had been too scared to send them, and I'm sorry I don't really understand what you were scared of.

I'm sorry a day will not go by that you won't regret what happened. I'm sorry you can't forgive yourself, I've forgiven me for the mistakes I've made, maybe you should too.

I'm sorry that I wasn't in a good place and that that made you feel bad. I'm sorry that you felt hurt because I had other friends apart from you, and I'm really sorry that you didn't just "move on and become happy".

I'm sorry my life started falling apart. I'm sorry that it got even worse just because of a stupid misunderstanding. I'm sorry you chose to believe someone who you barely knew anything about over me. I'm sorry that it never crossed your mind to ask me how I was doing.

I'm sorry you have never hated me, because I have. I have hated myself and I have hated you too. I have hated myself for not being good enough, for not knowing why it never crossed your mind to ask me what had really happened instead of believing the first story you heard. I'm sorry I hated you, but for a while I did. I hated you because even though I was the one who disappeared, you didn't try to protect me, instead, you joined the hunting team, the winning team.

I'm sorry you felt like you lost a sister, but you were the one who fired the shot.