It comes in waves just from nothing. I get lost in thoughts, imaginations, so tears stream out of my eyes too fast, that I can't catch them. Yeah, I can influence that by a desicion - say to myself that I must burn these thoughts. But then I feel so blue and empty.

I miss him. I miss his eyes, smile, voice, laugh. I still see his face. It chases me everywhere. During the lessons of czech language in school, when I can swich off easily. In subway when I am going home. At lunchtime. When I fall asleep and when I wake up.

I am afraid of the moment, when I won't miss him anymore. But I am waiting for that. I hope for that.

- one of many texts I have about him

thank you for reading