Yes. I regret a lot things.
Yes. I think about it every single day for like 8 years.
Yes. Im tired.
Yes. Im afraid.
Yes. I cry a lot.
Yes. I sleep a lot.
Yes. My mind is killing me.
Yes. Im anxious.
Yes. Im depressed.
Yes. Im dumb.
Yes. Im ugly.
Yes. Im talentless.
Yes. Im not active at school.
But you don't know who I really am.

Me without anxiety, depression and OCD :
Yes. Im intelligent.
Yes. Im smart.
Yes, I have passions.
Yes. Im ambitious.
Yes. Im creative.
Yes, I have great taste of music.
Yes. I can sing.
Yes. I love writing.
Yes. I love learning.
Yes. I love christmas.
Yes. I would love to show that to everyone. At school, on the streets. This is the risk of being quiet.
Youre not showing who you really are, so people will create their own stories about you. And they will stick to it.

So, Here is the list of daily things that I hate doing :

I hate passing people at school or on streets. They are probably laughing at me or think Im ugly or rude or stupid.

Im embarrased all the time.

I hate when teachers ask me questions and Im afraid to answer.

I hate making eye contact.

I hate taking pictures of myself.

I hate that Im too afraid to show my opinion, passion or talent.

I hate that teachers probably think Im nothing. Maybe theyre right.

I hate talking to new people.

I hate paying at the grocery store.

I hate crying in front of people.

I hate that I cant believe in myself.

I hate my mind.

I hate being ugly.

I hate that I cant stop overthinking.

I hate that Im crying for no reason. When I make a mistake in my notes I have to start all over again. If I touched accidentally a notebook with my left elbow, I would have to touch it with my right elbow.

I hate being scrared all the time.

I hate social medias that are disgusting sometimes.

But you know what I'd love to do :

I would love to smile to all the people I meet on street, Just simply give them a little happiness. But simply. I cant.

I would love to be active at school. I cried once when my teacher asked me a question. It was terrifying. Everytime someone gives a correct answer Im like : Damn, I knew that. People think Im dumb. Simply. I cant.

I woud love to be pretty and cofindent enought to take selfies. Simply. I cant.

I would love to show my passions. Simply. I cant.

I would love to stop crying for a day.

I would love to learn how to live a happy life. Simply. I cant.

You know how I imagine my life ? I wish I could show the real 'me' :

I love playing tennis, singing, learning, writing, listening to music, christmas, dogs, sports, weheartit, lights, moon, space, creativity, being smart, taking part in competition, being pretty, intelligent, being a really awesome student, being careless, travelling, taking pictures, dancing, being crazy, laughing soo much, being organized,I love memes ♥
I love the world that I created in my mind, even though my head is sometimes a scary place.

Im alive only in my imagination.

How sad that nobody will ever know the real me.


Mature image alone, dark, and sad image tennis, nike, and sport image study and school supplies image room, bedroom, and light image christmas, winter, and cozy image
coldplay, concert, and festivals image
party, boy, and fireworks image forest, car, and travel image
road, snow, and forest image winter, snow, and car image
beautiful, flowers, and hipster image city, purple, and light image
music, grunge, and nirvana image of monsters and men and nanna bryndis image fireworks, light, and night image light, night, and lantern image light, night, and sky image stars and tumblr image sky, stars, and night image stars, universe, and sky image
astronomy, constellations, and heart image
pink and love image camera, polaroid, and photo image
party, balloons, and concert image balloons, colorful, and colors image