As a 13-year-old girl, I have, indeed, slit my own wrist due to depression. I know, I am quite naive and I should have known better. I just want to explain my feelings on here, because no one ever understands how I truly feel as a suicidal person. I need some advice, help, and guidance on the endless train of torture I am relentlessly trying to out-run, called life. I feel so disoriented, so lost; I feel like I am living in complete oblivion at this point because I just don't know what I am doing.

Truthfully, I really do not know why I slit my wrists. I keep telling myself: "You slit your wrists because you are depressed." But in all honesty, I do not know why I am depressed. Of course, family issues and maybe self-image play a huge factor in depression. I guess the biggest reason that causes my depression, though, is self-hate. I have so much hatred for myself. I always tell myself I am not good enough, and I never will be, with society advancing and changing at the current rate. But those reasons are not it. I would not be slitting my wrist for solely those reasons. I know there are other, bigger reasons that are haunting me, but at this moment, I just haven't discovered those reasons.

Let me elaborate: I don't know why, but I always think I am fat. Although I am relatively skinny, I always look at my skinnier friends and compare with them. Because of the way my mind tells myself I'm fat, I have started having an eating disorder by starving myself all the time. I know it is so detrimental to your health and well-being, but I just can't stop doing it until I look what I would call, "perfect". Don't get me wrong, I do not hate on people of different sizes, but I just hate myself for the size I am, because I am, me, and I decide whatever I want for myself. I know, pretty confusing, but you get the point. Don't forget: I am 13 years old.

I also keep telling myself: "Ending it all doesn’t sound like a bad idea after all. In fact, it sounds rather ideal. You keep making the same mistakes, falling into the same traps. How could you be so stupid? Everything you do; it’s such a joke; such an absurd act of stupidity." Also, one strange thing about me is that in my heart, the entire concept of love is non-existent; something so utterly abstract. Let me explain. True love just feels so fake and superficial. I don't know what's wrong with me. It may be because of the influence my previous experiences and family issues have caused, but that is just how my mind is set.

Thank you for taking time out of your day to read my "feeling-dump", where I dump all my feelings onto this article-formatted page. I hope you can help me by giving advice and suggestions, because trust me, therapy did not help me.