I am an 18 year-old girl, who as most teenagers doesn’t know what the fuck is going on in my live. Sure I know what I want to become, but I am not quite sure how to get there.
You are probably thinking, ugh another baby talking about how bad her life is, when it’s not. And you are definitively right, my life isn’t bad, it is just not as good as I wish it was.
I have friends, family, I am studying what I love, but yet every night when I close my eyes I feel like something is missing.
Maybe it’s because I wish I could experiment love, and that cute love where you laugh, he is right beside you, the kind of romantic novel love. And I want that, but I also want to fight, to cry and to suffer with that love, in a way I know I am absolutely in love.
I don’t know if it’s just me, but I see people every day that are at a relationship but they don’t acknowledge what a wonderful treasure they got.
No one notices me, and I want to be noticed, I want to be the girl the cute guy is chasing because he saw something in her no one else did. I want to be in a relationship where sex is not the main thing, where it is a complement of it but not what the relation is based on.
I am virgin, and I am not afraid to say it because when I do it, it is going to be special, (ugh another cliché) right, it is a cliché; but it is SPECIAL and UNIQUE for me. And with all these boys, they get scared of it, and they ask about why, and they say it as if I should be ashamed, but I am not, because I will find a guy who will respect me enough to make it special for me.
The thing is I want that boy to appear now, I need him to appear now; because my already low self-esteem is getting lower in love scenarios, so I am just praying he will.