I'm unleashing the hidden buzzfeed article writer that lays dormant inside me to share my unorthodox and disapproved of (sorry, mum) ways to make sure my friends, family and, on the occasional slip up, my boss, know exactly how I feel. So without further udo.

One: "She think's she's all that and a bag of chips."

Used to describe someone of an egotistical nature, this line is perfect for when you just really cannot stand Jessica thinking she's the shit anymore and need to drag her in a classy and civil fashion.

Two: "Oh shit I dropped the cat on the cheese grater again."

A line used best to describe terrible sounds, music and/or anything related to Taylor Swift, I have found that this line always causes a stir in the circle because of how fucking intelligent and untouchable you sound when you say it.

Three: "Big Boy Mackleroy"

An adjective to describe someone who does a task at a high standard. For example, if your friend catches a mark in one hand whilst holding a carton of choccy milk in the other, you can, nay, it is your obligation to shout, "Big Boy Mackleroy!"

Four: "Good Onya Sonya"

In other words "I am happy that you are happy about your achievement that you are describing to me however I cannot summon enough fucks to care so I'm going to do a nifty little rhyme for you and hope you shut up soon after."

Five: "Good Evening"

Although this phrase seems harmless enough, I like to use this word out of context, which is to say at every time of day. Wake up in the morning and say "Good Evening" to whoever greets you as you stumble out of bed and your whole perspective on the world will shift, trust me.

Six: "Lubed me up and bent me over"

Too graphic to describe, this means "She was incredibly mad at me".

Seven: "Snouting Crime Stoppers fanny"

Used for when you want to abuse your friends for even considering on snitching on someone. Or, to describe the act of snitching. I don't have time for people who dog the boys.

Eight: "Yip Yip Kachoo"

An excited expression to correctly convey how happy I am, usually as a result of seeing a new Netflix notification.

And there you have it. Make sure to reference these in the next few days and you too will gain enough false confidence to make a fool out of yourself regularly. Peace out for now, hmu again sometime soon though.