It's been almost a whole year. How time flies past us. It feels like it's been ages since it happened, since you happened, since that moment I first saw you and you crashed into my life and destroyed everything.

Most days, I wish I had looked the other way. Today, is one of those when I'm glad I didn't.

It's funny, you know. I used to compare you to all the boys my age and think that you were more mature. I actually thought two years would make that much of a difference. You caught me, I fell for your lies, believed you when you lied through your teeth and swore you wanted something serious.

You promised to protect me, to be there for me, to love me. Asked only to be loved in return and handled with care.

And I did. Damn it, I did. I loved you. In a way I never even knew I was capable of. I completely handed myself over to you. You want to know something? It never even crossed my mind that I could get hurt in the end.

I pictured a future with you. A real one too. Made actual real-life plans for us.

I guess it's kind of ridiculous looking back on it.

It's all in the past though. Doesn't affect me anymore. Not the way it did for so long.

It's ironic, really. Because, you see, he didn't promise anything. When I first met him, he told me he liked another girl, without me even having to prompt him. I didn't care. Ending the night with him was never the plan. But he drank too much, we both did. He kissed me while we were dancing, and then vowed it didn't mean anything. Pleaded for me not to read too much into it and get attached.

I'll be honest. I didn't pay much heed to his warnings. Why on earth would I get attached to a guy who hadn't even piqued my attention in the first place?

We danced the rest of the night away, kissed a couple more times. We had fun, and I was surprised to find that I really enjoyed his company. He slept at my place, cuddle up to me after making sure it was alright, and didn't once try anything remotely inappropriate.

Well, it's not been two full months since that fateful night. He studies in the same university as me, two grades above mine. We see each other every week, and text more days than not.

We hang out to watch movies and we talk. I feel this unspoken connection between us; it's weird, I can't really explain it. There's this complicity and mutual trust. We laugh and share inside jokes. Our eyes search for each other and meet in the middle of a crowd. I think we look for one another before we realize we're doing it.

He's gentle, and caring, and so so different from the way you were.

I can't even begin to compare the two of you, but I can't help myself.

He's everything I'd lost hope of finding after you wrecked my life, dreams, and beliefs. You burst my little bubble and destroyed the illusion I was living in. Before you, I was waiting for the perfect guy to walk in. I thought it'd be like in the movies. We'd find one another, our gazes would meet, and it'd feel like nothing else.

In a way, it was like that with you. You stumbled into my life, completely uninvited and grabbed a sit, made a place for yourself, as if you had any intention of staying. My heart raced whenever I saw you. I was drawn to you, blind to everything else. I thought love was supposed to be like that.

It's not. Love is looking at him and knowing deep in my bones that he's there, and feeling secure in that knowledge, having reasons to feel that way. Love is being able to tease him for his middle name, and getting teased right back for whatever, it's playing with him and knowing he won't be mad because it's not hurtful the way I do it, understand? It's having the privilege of hearing about his childhood and his story, his fears and insecurities, and his dreams, his hopes for the world, and the future, and us.

Love is him, and the way his eyes shine when his gaze is on me. Love is feeling like the only other person in the room whenever I'm next to him, because his stare doesn't waver and mine doesn't either, and it's almost as if the world fades away and we're the only ones there.

Love is all the things you never were or tried to be; it is everything he's teaching and showing me with each passing day.

No. I can't compare you two, but I do anyway.

(you lose, but I won)