For the longest I been wanting to open up about the first and only time I fell in love and what it did to me, I was 16 years old when I first met the only guy I have ver been in love with, I remember I was a sophomore in high school and he was a junior, he was actually a exchange student from Norway, we were both In the band program I was in color guard and he was in percussion, ever since the day we met something happened and that spark never went away and now 3 years later that spark is still inside of me, our situation was very complicated we both felt the same but the timing was so wrong, I loved him with so much passion but he broke me like no one ever has before, he knew me like no one has known me , if I was upset I wouldn't have to tell him he would just give me a hug and made me feel like everything was going to be okay and till this day I don't understand how he knew me so well when we didn't have enough time for each other , we knew each other for a very small amount of time but it was enough to give me the happiest yet darkest time of my life, our story its a long yet so short story that I perfectly remember but I think I will write our story some other time not today, the reason why I wrote this article is to tell you just how broken I was and how now that I am 19 years old I can finally say I pulled myself out of that misery, I was so so broken it hurts me every time I remember myself laying in my bathroom floor crying till I could no longer cry, screaming till my voice was gone , I wanted to rip my lungs out, my anxiety levels were so high that I started failing school, my smile was gone I looked dead people in school would constantly ask me I I was okay and point out my puffy eyes everyday, I wrote hundreds letter to him and never gave it to him, I actually discovered how I could write poetry and ever since than I never stopped writing, he completely destroyed me and I alone picked up my broken pieces and built myself into a better women, if you are broken at the moment all I want to tell you is that you got to be your own savior, pull yourself out of that misery I promise you one day you will be happy again, because at the moment I'm the happiest I have ever been and I'm stronger than ever before , I still dream about him and I will always love him but I'm no longer that broken girl who screamed and hated herself for so long, I radiate light again and I love myself more than I ever have before, if I pulled myself out the big hole of misery that I felt into than you can to, if you are going through something please message me I will be more than happy to hear you out and help you out and if you wanna hear more about my story I am here to tell you and inspire you to keep fighting.
remember you are stronger than you think you are, you will pull yourself out of that misery I promise you.