Just friends

I don’t know if it’s solely your habit to stare at people so that it feels like you are trying to say something or you just was staring at me that way…

I knew you was watching while I was dancing, talking ,just looking at my phone or fumbling around and I wanted to look at you to capture every tiny line of your face , to calm myself down but you weren’t looking away as if I was something important to you. Although I was mad or - how to say it better - really sad which turned into being mad at you, I smiled when I saw you are looking.

A month ago around this time of the day -or more precisely - night , we were sitting next to each other trying to choose a movie to watch on Netflix.

-I want to watch either Titanic or a really scary horror movie. Nothing in between ,- I said as you continued to scroll down the list.

-Okay. No Titanic because I don’t want anything sad , so let’s watch “Chuckie: the doll” (or whatever it is actually called),- you smiled and pushed the button on the remote control.

Now well , it was supposed to be something really scary and we would have to close our eyes or turn around to not see the scary scene but it was the clear opposite. Instead of doing all of that we’d found ourselves laughing like crazy as if were watching Kevin Hart’s stand ups or somebody whom we knew was cracking a really funny joke. With you we always had something to laugh about, both of us happily smiling. Having serious sessions at the university didn’t stop neither of us from sitting next to each other and foolishly laughing at something session speakers were saying. And i have to admit i miss that. Isn't it strange that i couldn't notice how for me you was something more than "just a friend". And i only realized it by the time our month-long trip was over and we went our separate ways. Perhaps for you we are "just friends" but ,sweetheart, "just friends " don't look at each other like that..