I thought
they were gone
But I guess
I was wrong

-

Have you ever liked a boy so gorgeous, so charming, so amiable, so perfect?

I have.

Have you ever felt so done with yourself when you realise that you are the only one falling?

I have.

Have you ever made the difficult choice of leaving?

I have.

Have you ever spent more time than necessary trying to get over him?

I have.

Have you ever managed to get over him in the end?

Because I have.

But I thought wrong.

Memories flood you again because something you've seen, or touched, or heard, or felt somehow reminded you of what you had before.

Or what you thought you had.

And of course it hurts. You can't bring yourself to talk to him anymore and he doesn't seem to notice, not until recently. It was okay when he didn't notice because you could continue on living like this, knowing that you had let go and there was nothing going to come back to haunt you.

But he had to notice that something was up and each time you try to avoid him, he's the one coming up to you to say hi. And that smile, it brightens up your world for a few short seconds before everything turns dark again.

When you are far off, a distance away and neither of you get the chance to go up to each other because he's busy and because you don't want to, you catch his eye, you catch him looking. Then it's a short second of eye contact and you immediately look away, realising that you didn't want him to know you had even bothered looking his way.

Maybe avoiding wasn't the best solution, but right now, I had to make do with it, even though I know I've been running and hiding too much.

V. A. H.

Hullo, if you can relate, you can dm me on Instagram, I'd love to talk to you! Any questions or if you like this, dm me too or just send me a postcard.

https://www.instagram.com/heyxitsxvanssxx/
or search me up: @heyxitsxvanssxx