I used to feel invisible. I don’t anymore. It’s nice. Sometimes.

I have two good friends now, and I get that nobody is perfect, but...
But is it normal for friends to disrespect your opinion and make fun of your choices??? I mean I love them, we have so much fun. Just yesterday they were at my house, we baked, danced, talked, laughed. It felt mostly good.
But there are always these little comments, seemingly meaningless, but I feel my heart twist every time and I need to look away just for a second before I can start smiling again. I don’t even think they realize that what they are saying may... hurt someone because its not like they are being mean exactly. It’s more about acceptance of differences, accepting the fact that everybody is unique and that it is completely normal that I don’t think exactly like they do.
Here in the US, everybody is talking about being open minded, I even talked with my friends about it. As it turns out, no one really seems to be completely open minded, not matter how much they are trying to be or say they are. Every time you say “no” to someone you are shutting out the possibility that they might be right. That’s not really being open minded, is it?
One example is the fact that I am 15 and eat gluten-free by choice. I understand that my grandma would make fun of me because lets face it, basically none of our grand-parents are open minded; I don’t blame them though, they were just raised differently. But that my friends who have been raised in the same day and age as me, make fun of me and even said that I am “ruining my life and happiness” just doesn’t feel... great. I can see their judgy eyes every time gluten-free is brought up in conversation and can literally hear them thinking that my choice is stupid. And since I am not really allergic to gluten, sometimes I give myself a break when I, for example really want to eat pizza but there are no gluten-free ones. I can still hear their voices in my head being like, “I thought you don’t eat gluten!!!”, which I tend to ignore just because explaining it to them seems like such a waist of time. I don’t want to dwell on this for too long, it’s just something that really upsets me...
Maybe I just shouln’t care. Maybe I should let them say what they want and move on. Maybe some of you are thinking, “why she making such a big deal about this little thing when there are far worse problems in the world?” Or you might be thinking “she should just dump her fiends”. But I can’t do any of that. Not caring is hard, ignoring them is hard. I know the value of friendship because I had to move often, I lost a lot of them and made a bunch of new ones. I do like my friends and it can be a lot of fun to hang out. Or maybe that’s not even the problem? Maybe I being closed minded towards them too? Maybe I’m upsetting them too. All I know is that I hate drama and fights between friends so we just don’t talk about that sort of thing.

Am I the only one feeling like this? Why am I even feeling like this when my life could be such much worse?

I have no clue if anyone is going to read this because it’s just me rambling about my feelings, and it’s only part 1 of Me and My Mess of Feelings...

- Ophelia