(listen to this while reading it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGGVy4RkUs0)

It's been some times now , I feel so confused. Between school, family and friends, I act differently each time. It is to wonder if I'm really being myself or just pretending to be someone else.
And honestly,
I don't know.

I know I love rock music, plants and the sun, but I don't know what I want to do later, what is my real personality, who am I when nobody is looking. And the problem is, I always act like someone is looking, I can't find my true self. I want so much to be spontaneous, wild, worry-free, yet I am logical, toughtful, organized. It's like there's a battle between two personality inside of myself, one I want, the other I have. And I can't decide if I should accept this personality or just try to change to become this other person. Would it be considered against nature to change for this "better" me, or would it be stupid to refuse to change, to grow?

I'm lost. No. I am searching myself, yeah this is it. In a world where everyone is putting a mask to protect themselves of some sorts of danger, here I am, trying to discover myself, being vulnerable.

And I think we need more vulnerability in this majorly insensitive world. More people who are lost, searching for themselves, wondering who they are, what is their purpose in this world. And some times later, they find themselves, showing the others that it is okay to be vulnerable, to show that we are not invicible.

I think we all need to realize, myself included, that answers come with time. I don't know for sure who I am for now, but I know I will make errors, experiences, that will slowly build myself .

We are f*cking humans, we make mistakes, we cry, we laugh, we discover.
We learn.

hannah hoch image

I don't know if this made some kind of sense for any of you, I am too tired right now to realize if this is just me rambling or if there is any kind of sense in this.

I hope you all feel loved, secured and happy, if not, I am sending you lots of love and good vibrations.

Sarah xx