It's not her, it's not him. It's just you.
It all begins and ends in your own head. You decide, what you give power to, so it can have power over you. Nobody, except of you, can give you the strength and safety you need to live your life. Please stop empower other people to have that much influence over your thinking and behaviour. It has taken so much strength, tears and courage to becoming who you are. So nobody has the right of putting you down and crashing the place you were building on your whole life.
And always remember: no problem could ever be this big, that it could kill you. Do you remember the moments you thought you would never survive? You did. So you can do it again. And you should be proud of every single day you survive, because it is a big deal.