If you would have asked me 3 years ago if I believed in God or in an after life my answer would have been totally different than it is today.

I was a product of society,  all I cared about was getting an education, work, loving my family and friends and having fun. God was not something I was completely sure about but I had high hopes and faith that he was real and heaven was a thing, because if it wasn't the purpose of life seemed to have no meaning. Still I remained skeptic, I had no evidence so how did I really know?


April 2015

My dad had always been my best friend. We literally did everything together. During lunch break between college classes most people would have their friends meet them for lunch, I would always call my dad. He was one of the only people that had the ability to make me laugh until I couldn't breathe.

For Easter in 2015 my dad wanted to buy me an Easter dress like he did probably 15 years prior when I was a little girl. He went into a boutique by himself and picked out a dress for me to wear that year.

My dad usually would just give me money on the holidays and I would go pick something out. But after Easter, he wanted to go on his own and surprise me again. This time it was not for a holiday. I remember the 2nd time I had to fuss at him for spending too much money on me, he never did before. "You're my daughter and your mother isn't here'' he said. He claimed that he wanted to go out and buy me a gift once a month. Which I was not against that idea at all.

Unfortunately he never had the chance to fulfill his wish.

April 30th 2015 5:00 AM: I was having a dream all I could really see was a blue light surrounding me and my father. He was looking at me with a serious look in his eyes and he pulled out a gold necklace with a symbol of some sort. I laughed and told him "You did not have do to this, but what does this symbol mean''? He smiled and told me ''You're my princess and I will always love you''.  As he was saying this, my dream broke and I was waking up to a phone call. I woke up peaceful and content and answered the phone. It was a nurse my dad had been in a terrible accident and I needed to be at the hospital.

I had no idea how serious his condition was, but a few minutes after hanging up with the nurse I knew it was not good. My dad was an avid cyclist and he was hit by a truck that morning. He was in coma for 3 days and finally passed on. That was by far the most heartache I have ever felt.

There is nothing anyone can say or do that will make that pain go away. I will always feel it. I can enjoy life again, but there are moments when I miss my best friend and miss feeling the security and love every father expresses to their daughter. I know he did not want to leave me, I think that is why I had that dream. I feel in my heart that was him telling me goodbye and giving me one last ultimate gift. The gift of knowing that he will always love me even through death. That is something no materialistic item can replace.

If I would have not had that dream, I would have processed the death of my father totally differently.

Our loved ones are always with us whether it's in our dreams, with a breeze in the wind or in a sentimental song. I don't know what it is like exactly but I know there is something beyond us and everything we have evidence of. After all, we are spiritual beings in a physical world.